At this moment in my life, I am in a holding pattern.
/‘hōldiNG ‘padern/ noun
the flight path maintained by an aircraft awaiting permission to land
I find it ironic that my life is in a place that I am familiar with, and probably have more tolerance for, when I am traveling.
It’s the second definition of holding pattern that brings a feeling of restlessness:
a state or period of no progress or change
In my mind, there is nothing positive about the words ‘no progress or change’.
They are words that go against my personality that likes to see things move forward.
At this point I realize that you’re missing information that might help you understand where I am.
Last summer I found the house of my dreams. The perfect house. It only needed to be built.
In my mind there was no problem with this. I was willing to wait.
Or was I?
I sold my home, which was a quick process. In exactly 30 days we went from listing, to sale, to closing. We even found a temporary place to live before the closing documents were signed.
My mind danced with visions of writing my blogs in my personal office space by this time, but it so happens that circumstances beyond anyone’s control are preventing construction.
There is no one to blame. It is just the way things are.
Somehow I needed to find a way to wrap my mind around why things weren’t progressing in the time I planned.
It was then that I remembered two verses that I read many times:
Proverbs Chapter 16
Verse 1: “To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue.”
Verse 9: “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
Another verse that I have referenced throughout my life also came to mind:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
The words plans, hope and future were the words I needed to be reminded of.
When I meditated on these verses I understood that my holding pattern was a plan designed to give me rest.
“Never think that God’s delays are God’s denials. Hold on; hold fast; hold out.
Patience is genius.” ~Georges-Louis Leclerc
How quickly I had forgotten that the listing, selling and moving process was an overwhelming and exhausting time. Summer heat and humidity are brutal, and the labor involved in packing everything into a moving truck left everyone in my family run-down.
This was also not the first time that I had a dream delayed.
When I realized that the purpose in my pattern was rest, I decided that I would use my time to take a relaxed approach to something that would need a lot of my attention after our home is constructed.
I started to work on concepts for decorating my new home and realized that I had a lot of ideas! I began to see that if I waited until construction began, I would probably run out of time to choose furniture styles and finishes along with the accessories needed to compliment them.
There has been sufficient time for me to discover design inspiration in stores with different price points. Budget friendly options are everywhere!
When I became patient with the plan, my stress level decreased and my enjoyment of the process increased. There is still a long road ahead, and there will be plenty to keep me occupied when construction begins. It is my goal to look back on this time of rest and say that I spent it well.
Holding patterns end, and when they do, joy is found in knowing that the destination is a place called home.
I am thrilled to sit at my keyboard and type CONSTRUCTION HAS STARTED.
My husband and I visit or drive by our lot almost every day. We went by so often that we even noticed if the piles of dirt on our lot had been moved.
One day back in March we noticed that our lot looked different.
There was something there that hadn’t been there before.
I have never been so happy to see a tractor.
After we parked our car, I jumped out of my seat and stood in front of this piece of machinery that was on our lot (happy dance) with a smile on my face.
I wanted to take in the moment and remember it. I took several photos.
After this momentous moment, I still had to exercise patience, because it took another couple of weeks for the foundation to be framed and then poured.
It was the beginning of this month before the construction of our home was started.
Throughout this part of the process, there will be other moments where I will have to wait, and I will need to remember the patience that has brought me this far.
In the meantime, I’m enjoying every sign of change.